Jump to content
Banhammer Forums


  • Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited


Everything posted by Johnny

  1. Ooh ooh ooh! Ah ah! *scratches self* * throws feces* Cause we're all apes! Get it?!
  2. The new Dual Shock 4 is much improved - it's bigger and heftier and has wider set sticks - but I didn't think it was better than the Xbox controller. My biggest gripe is that the DS4 still doesn't have real triggers. The pseudo-triggers are more curved now (and super wide), but they feel like weirdly shaped buttons and not triggers. And I'm with Galahir950 - I prefer the offset stick configuration on the Xbox controller.
  3. Johnny

    Will You Pay For Xbox Live Next Generation?

    I don't mind paying, but Microsoft really needs to offer more for my money. Especially more of the things that I care about. I only play the occasional co-op game over Xbox Live, and it's annoying that the cost to play online like this is lumped in with the ability to watch Netflix and Hulu Plus, which have nothing to do with gaming and which are free literally everywhere else.
  4. Thanks, ArielC. I've been away for a while, but it's comforting to come back and see that gamers are still lashing out at each other with the exact same rhetoric that they used years ago. The more things change, the more they stay the same.
  5. Johnny

    ‘Dead Man Down’ Review: Wasted Potential

    I haven't heard of this film either. But I agree, that trailer was awesome.
  6. Johnny

    YouTube Does The Harlem Shake on Command

    Here you go, guys... http://tinyurl.com/akvyl8c
  7. Johnny

    John Dies at the End Review: Just Read the Book

    You didn't like And Then We Came to the End?! Aww, that sucks. It was tangential, that's true, but that book kept my interest and I loved the first person plural narrative. Coincidentally, it was just after the Roach Man story in John Dies at the End where I put the book down and didn't bother to pick it up again. During that section I kept thinking, "This is really long and really detailed and really pointless." Perhaps I will give the book another try...
  8. Johnny

    John Dies at the End Review: Just Read the Book

    I got about halfway through the book, then the holidays hit and I lost interest. I like the writing style a lot, but the story wasn't pulling me in. Reminded me of From a Buick 8 by Stephen King, which I didn't really care for. When I stopped reading, the book was starting to drag - it felt like a lot of randomness for the sake of it.
  9. Johnny

    Windows 8 Review: A Modern Experiment

    I love Windows 8. I hate every app and link and button click that takes me back to the old desktop.
  10. Johnny

    An iPhone User Switches to Android: Day One Troubles

    "Switches to Android." <-- Found your problem. ;)
  11. Johnny

    Skyfall Review: Destined to Be a Classic

    I just thought it was badly plotted and dull. Javier Bardem has all the presence and creepiness of a great Bond villain, but with nothing to do. *SPOILERS* Here's a guy who is supposedly so brilliant that he can topple economies and governments with the click of a mouse. He emptied an entire island of people through the sheer force of his will. He endured years of torture and spent all that time plotting revenge. And after we're told about all of this man's menace (but not shown any of it), the final culmination of that brilliant, dangerous mind, of those years of vengeful planning... is the villain dressing up like a cop, walking into a courtroom, and intending to simply shoot M in the head. That's it? He could've done that on page 1. This villain's master plan is so intricate in its execution, apparently, with so many moving parts... that Bond is able to utterly foil it by just shooting a pair of fire extinguishers. Silva is all implied bark and no bite. That's why we end up with a stapled-on shoot 'em up for the finale. Because what else is there to do to end the thing? It's not like anything matters at that point. But give us a crappy villain, we're likely to get a crappy Bond. IMO anyway. I still liked Daniel Craig, and Judy Dench, and the Aston Martin, and the new Q, and all sorts of other stuff in the film. But Silva's "plot" (the whole challenge to Bond and the reason the story is told) was weaksauce to me. Glad you guys enjoyed it, though. Wish I had more than I did.
  12. Johnny

    Skyfall Review: Destined to Be a Classic

    I was bored. Not to tears, because boys don't cry. But to me, it took a long time to go nowhere, really. I guess that makes me dumb. It had one of those endings-by-committee, like the latest Bourne film, where the writers said, "Hey, we forgot to add a big, explosive finale. How about a pointless motorcycle chase with a villain that we introduced two seconds earlier? We don't even have to write anything except, 'Awesome motorcycle chase goes HERE!' Cool. And for the Bond film, how about a siege/shootout sequence that has nothing to do with the rest of the film? We just write 'Awesome showdown with mucho explosions goes HERE!' But wait, will people go for that? Sure they will, if we name the movie after the place where the showdown takes place! Adele even wrote a song with the same title! See how it all ties together?" This is an entire movie about a guy who wants to simply shoot somebody in the head. And the plot is all of the stupidly elaborate ways that he goes about to NOT actually shoot that somebody in the head. Bring back Casino Royale.
  13. Johnny

    ‘Halo 4′ Review: Let Go Of The Legacy

    I've been up and down on the Halo Fatigue Scale. I think the height for me occurred when I bought the Anniversary Edition of Halo: Combat Evolved because it had the name "Halo" on it and then I realized that I was experiencing no joy when playing it. Halo 4, however, is a great game in my opinion. It is very Haloesque, of course, which is clearly what 343 was going for, right down to the little note that they give fans at the beginning. To that, if you have no interest in ever shooting another Covenant Grunt in the head again, then you want to steer clear of this game. I see N's point about all the same old same old, and I agree to a degree, but it really didn't bother me. I think 343 did the right thing by using Halo 4 to bridge from Bungie's legacy into their own future games. They introduced new enemies and new weapons and even an actual villain, all while still keeping the overall experience familiar. Perhaps they didn't do enough, but you change or remove enough of these elements and it kind of stops being a Halo game. If you don't want what Halo has done well over the last 10 years, then you probably want something else. But if you like Halo and you're looking for more, 343's Halo 4 delivers. Having said that, Halo 4 did make me a little weary of all of the pointless, Tron-inspired Forerunner structures. These levels are cool-looking, but I couldn't get over how useless they are. Why did the Forerunners build a bunch of samey rooms full of weird ramps to nowhere, all decorated with glowy lines everywhere? Did they do this just because thousands of years later, Master Chief and his AI construct would need a Point A and a Point B to travel between in style? As far as the story goes, I think Halo 4 is the best by a mile 343 achieved something that Bungie never could by actually giving Master Chief a soul. I liked that they developed Chief's relationship with Cortana. The ending dishes up the cheese, but I found it to be a better overall experience than any of the jumbled messes that were the other game's story lines. The possible exception to this is Halo Reach, which was the only other Halo game to make me feel something for the characters. I think 343's goal was to please Halo fans, and in that they succeeded with a solid game. I'd hazard if you want something drastically different than what 343 was going for, then you probably don't want a Halo game in the first place. Which is perfectly fair after... how many? ... seven games. And don't hate on N for his review. He asked me if I could review the game, but I've been too busy (read: slacking).
  14. I never let my Gold subscription lapse and I haven't gotten a free console. Hrmph!
  15. This is the thread to confess the bad entertainment that you enjoy. You know what I'm talking about. Some call it a guilty pleasure, some call it Dubstep, but whatever you call it, it is something with no artistic or social value whatsoever, and yet you still find it entertaining and secretly enjoy it. Well, you've kept the secret long enough. Confess your entertainment sins and God will have mercy on your soul. Maybe. I'll start. Currently, my wife and I have been watching the ABC Family drama Pretty Little Liars. It is so bad it's good.
  16. One of my favorite Pixar films.
  17. Johnny

    Amazon Kindle HD's new 4G Data plan sucks

    Is Apple announcing stuff today? I thought I heard more excited bleating than usual.
  18. Johnny

    What's your JAM right now?

    I only listen to Dark Side of the Moon.
  19. Johnny

    The Bad Entertainment Confession Thread

    Recently, my daughter has been watching YouTube videos of supposed UFO sightings and has become convinced that we are days away from an alien invasion. I tell her that these videos are usually faked or easily explained, but she's 12 and is wired to ignore the things her father tells her. So I queue up this show Fact or Faked: Paranormal Files that I found on Netflix. I thought it would be like Mythbusters. There's an FBI agent, a photographer, a stuntman, a special effects expert and so on. From my understanding of the description, they take paranormal viral videos and attempt to explain them rationally by recreating them to show how they were done. The first episode got off to a good start when they recreated the "ghost car" video from YouTube by showing that the car just drove under the chain link fence. But during the second half of the episode, they suddenly started pandering to the SyFy crowd by claiming that they "couldn't explain" a mysterious lights-in-the-sky video. They actually recreated the video exactly using glass and laser pointers, but they deliberately stopped short of calling the video explained. Instead, they mooned at the sky and talked about how these "unexplained" videos proved that we aren't alone and crap. This was bad entertainment that I didn't enjoy. The moral of the story: Don't rely on some lame, pandering SyFy show to help you teach your daughter the importance of critical thinking.
  20. Johnny

    The Bad Entertainment Confession Thread

    No Angel was awesome. As was Buffy. You didn't have to be on drugs, though it doesn't hurt, I supposed.
  21. I almost saw this, but my friend and I opted for Lawless instead. I really liked Lawless, though I agree with Russell that it could've been better.
  22. Never got aboard the whole sushi train. I respect the craft, certainly, but sushi is not something I ever developed a taste for.
  23. Johnny

    Random Thoughts Thread

    Whenever I'm tying someone up, I jokingly call whatever song is stuck in my head at the time my "hold music." But I've said too much....