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FleshEatingZipper

Skyfall Review: Destined to Be a Classic

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I was bored. Not to tears, because boys don't cry. But to me, it took a long time to go nowhere, really. I guess that makes me dumb.

It had one of those endings-by-committee, like the latest Bourne film, where the writers said, "Hey, we forgot to add a big, explosive finale. How about a pointless motorcycle chase with a villain that we introduced two seconds earlier? We don't even have to write anything except, 'Awesome motorcycle chase goes HERE!' Cool. And for the Bond film, how about a siege/shootout sequence that has nothing to do with the rest of the film? We just write 'Awesome showdown with mucho explosions goes HERE!' But wait, will people go for that? Sure they will, if we name the movie after the place where the showdown takes place! Adele even wrote a song with the same title! See how it all ties together?"

This is an entire movie about a guy who wants to simply shoot somebody in the head. And the plot is all of the stupidly elaborate ways that he goes about to NOT actually shoot that somebody in the head. Bring back Casino Royale.

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I don't think the final siege was the most deliberately placed sequence in the entire film. The only distracting thing I found about it was that the role of the groundskeeper that Albert Finney eventually played was clearly written with the intention that Sean Connery would play the part. It's a shame he turned the producers down.

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Perhaps it's dumb that Silva has all of these resources and only seems to unleash them at the end, perhaps it's dumb that Bond spends a lot of time chasing a thread, perhaps it's dumb that Silva gets so little screen time and the movie ends with a explosion-in-slow-motion finale.

Valid, but didn't distract me much from really liking it.

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I just thought it was badly plotted and dull. Javier Bardem has all the presence and creepiness of a great Bond villain, but with nothing to do. *SPOILERS* Here's a guy who is supposedly so brilliant that he can topple economies and governments with the click of a mouse. He emptied an entire island of people through the sheer force of his will. He endured years of torture and spent all that time plotting revenge. And after we're told about all of this man's menace (but not shown any of it), the final culmination of that brilliant, dangerous mind, of those years of vengeful planning... is the villain dressing up like a cop, walking into a courtroom, and intending to simply shoot M in the head. That's it? He could've done that on page 1. This villain's master plan is so intricate in its execution, apparently, with so many moving parts... that Bond is able to utterly foil it by just shooting a pair of fire extinguishers.

Silva is all implied bark and no bite. That's why we end up with a stapled-on shoot 'em up for the finale. Because what else is there to do to end the thing? It's not like anything matters at that point. But give us a crappy villain, we're likely to get a crappy Bond. IMO anyway.

I still liked Daniel Craig, and Judy Dench, and the Aston Martin, and the new Q, and all sorts of other stuff in the film. But Silva's "plot" (the whole challenge to Bond and the reason the story is told) was weaksauce to me. Glad you guys enjoyed it, though. Wish I had more than I did.

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His plan wasn't just to shoot her in the head, though. It was to publicly humiliate her first, and then kill in front of the world while she's at her lowest. He makes a bigger point by killing her in front of a public hearing than killing her at home. When Bond foils his plan it's only at that point that he scraps all of the intricate plotting and just goes for killing her outright.

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